Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
