My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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