As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize