I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
