ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
