I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
