i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
