yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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