Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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