I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
