I seem to have left my pride at pride
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
