I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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