in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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