I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
