Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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