i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
