Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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