thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
