i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
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