i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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