I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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