Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
