Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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