69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
