oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
