Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
