I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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