She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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