Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize