I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
