May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
