i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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