i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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