we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
