I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
