I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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