I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize