they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
