just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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