So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
