dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
