oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
