thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it was like eating out sand paper
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
