all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
