Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
