Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
