When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Quick, to the slutcave!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize