I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
