My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
