Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
