The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
