Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
