she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
