Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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