no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
cat food counts as protein by the way
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
