well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
