Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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