He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Be still, my beating vagina.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
