Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
