That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
