I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
