How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
