sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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