no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
