I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
