turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
