So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
