I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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