he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
