And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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