I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
