Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
