im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
